The Raven's Apprentice - Chapter 6

"Anyway," Cassie laughed. "Suffice it to say, at the time, my feelings about Gwen were confusing." 

"What about you, Gwen?" Mariah asked.

"Well, at that time, everything was confusing to me," Gwen said. "After all, I was still trying to get a handle on the concept of 'days of the week.'" To a smiling Cassie and Miranda, she added, "Say nothing."

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Buckingham High School, Willow Creek, 2000

I managed to pick up my classes fairly easily, actually. Art and Music, I was comfortable with. Language and Literature came fairly easily too. My mother had frequently brought home books from her 'vacations' in the mortal world for me to read. 

Surprisingly, Math and Science were not that difficult. Math is math, after all... and it seems to me that the principal difference between science and magic is that, in magic, one can argue with the laws of physics. I struggled with Social Studies. I could barely remember what day it was, much less the day or, worse, year of some past event. 

So, the abstract things I could manage.

It was waking up every morning in a strange place, so far from everything and everyone I knew, that was hard. I was surrounded by constant noise, the cars and trains moving outside, the buzz of electricity in the walls, the relentless hum of machinery all around. The smell, the bitter, metallic tang in the air, was inescapable. Worst of all was that pull, the sense of falling that came with the turning of days. It was all so strange and frightening. 

At times I just felt so lost and so alone.

Then, there she would be. Cassandra. My friend.

I remember, those first days we mostly talked about music. The violin was something we had in common, and it gave us a place to start. (I'd already figured out, from talking to Doug and his wife Lilian, that discussing my thoughts about the mortal world was more likely to result in strange looks than a meaningful conversation.)

Conversations with Cas (she wouldn't go by 'Cassie' until later) inevitably led to conversations with Molly and Carmilla as well. I found those a little less comfortable. Carmilla and I didn't really get along at first, and Molly hung on Carmilla's every word.

My new friend's fascination with vampires did make me nervous, but it quickly became obvious (sorry, love) that they didn't know much about real vampires. I was reasonably confident I hadn't fallen in with agents of the Dark Court.

Honestly, I probably should have been more paranoid. I was in hiding, after all. However, I longed for a friend, and I felt a real connection to Cas right from the start.

I also needed her help. There are some things an endless summer spent learning magic, art, music and literature absolutely cannot prepare one for... 

... and a high school cafeteria is definitely one of those things. I mean, I'd never even seen a hot dog before, and the whole concept of 'sloppy joes' is still bizarre to me. 

I somehow managed to explain my ignorance away as cultural differences. I had been mostly home schooled, after all. I could also honestly say (and Miranda will support me on this) that Brookside Academy has a kitchen, not a cafeteria, and to my knowledge had never served hot dogs or sloppy joes.

Without Cas I never would have learned how to navigate the lunch menu. Taco Tuesdays are difficult enough when you've never had a taco before and even worse when you don't really understand the concept of Tuesday. 

One thing about school that I didn't need to learn about from Cas was mean girls.  At Brookside, when I was there, there had been a young witch named Scarlet who delighted in petty cruelty and minor curses. At Buckingham, the mantle was taken up by Elly, a cheerleader who enjoyed the same petty cruelty and seemed to be equally capable of making life unpleasant.

Most of the time, we avoided her (a distinct virtue Buckingham had over the much smaller Brookside), but the occasional cafeteria confrontation was inevitable. Oddly, I took some comfort that some things appeared to be universal, no matter what Realm you're from.

To my great surprise, I was quickly finding a kind of balance. 

I doubt anyone who knew me then would believe it, but I was trying very hard to fit in. Alright, maybe not fit in but, at least, I was trying to hide and not give too much away about my past. I was afraid. Afraid that, if anyone found out who and what I really was, the Dark Court would find me. 

I was still lost, in a world that was loud and smelly and strange... 

... but I didn't feel quite so alone.

The Raven's Apprentice - Chapter 5

"Gwen?" Cassie began, gently laying her hand over her wife's.

"I'm fine," Gwen smiled. "You tell the next part... that first day." 

Cassie continued to look at her, with a gentle, knowing smile of her own, before turning back to Mariah.

"Most of us," she said, her smile warming, "don't know ahead of time when we're about to meet the person who will change our lives. I certainly didn't."

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Buckingham High School, Willow Creek, 2000

I'd started my last year of school a few weeks before. That morning was, I thought, just like any other... get up, put on that truly horrible dull grey school uniform, have breakfast (I actually remember, Edwards made pancakes that morning) and head off to face another day of school.

There she was, fumbling with the locker next to mine, and I distinctly remember thinking: "Who's the new girl with Mr. Brown?"

Mr. Brown was a teacher, so it wasn't surprising to see him giving a tour to a new student. He was also a casual friend of my parents - they'd gone to university together - so I knew him a little better than most of the other teachers. 

I think I said a brief hello to him and I know gave "the new girl" a quick nod, but I was distracted by wanting to catch up with my friends... 

... friends and fellow outcasts - Carmilla LeFanu and Molly Prescott. 

Sometime during our first year, after reading Caleb Vatore's High Fang novels, Carmilla had dyed her hair black and refused to answer to Cameron anymore. By now, even the teachers had given up. Everyone called her Carmilla. Of course, the popular kids thought she was a freak. I thought she was awesome.

Molly was Principal Prescott's daughter. That alone would have doomed her socially even if she hadn't been a little on the heavy side and a member of the chess club. Kids can be so cruel. We'd been friends since first year, when I stood up for her with Elly, the school's chief mean girl. 

Anyway, Carmilla was once again explaining some obscure bit of vampire lore to a fascinated Molly. Vampires are cool when you're seventeen, safe and convinced you're edgy. Yes, of course we were idiots. We were teenagers.

"So," I said into a pause in the conversation, "who's the new girl?"

OK so, maybe the willowy blonde I'd seen next to my locker was on my mind.

"Oh, wow, that's Gwen," Molly replied. I could always count on Molly to know the latest gossip out of the principal's office. "She's from like Windenburg, or near there anyway. She's an orphan. Her whole family was killed in a home invasion or something."

"Grim," Carmilla said.

"Yeah," Molly agreed. "Anyway, Mr. Brown is like her guardian now. So, she's transferred here."

The bell for first period rang before I could get any more out of Molly but, when I got to my homeroom (Molly and Carmilla were in a different section), there she was. The new girl. Gwen. 

If you'd asked me that morning, I wouldn't have been able to tell you why I was so fascinated by her. I certainly wasn't the kind of person who made a habit of cheerfully welcoming new students to our school. Being the Greeters-To-Hell was a job usually left to Elly and her cheerleader crew. 

I just knew that I wanted to go over to her and introduce myself. 

Of course, I didn't. 

How could I? Class was starting.

The morning was instead spent listening to Ms. Coombes drone on about... I have no idea, but I'm sure it was something academic and completely boring. I'm also sure I paid even less attention that morning than I usually did. 

I didn't spend the whole class thinking about her, of course. Honestly, I didn't!

I caught up to her during our lunch period and, when I did, I noticed two things right away. 

One was that her smile, which I'd noticed back at the lockers, didn't touch her eyes. Her eyes, those beautiful, impossible violet eyes, looked sad and a little lost.

The other thing I noticed was that she was softly humming a tune. A familiar tune...

"Banish Misfortune," I said as I sat down next to her. 

"What?" she asked, turning her polite smile and sad eyes to me.

"That song you're humming," I said. "It's called Banish Misfortune."

"I know," she said. 

"I'm Cassandra, by the way," I said, and with an inward sigh added, "Cassandra Goth."

The Goth name and legacy - wealthy, powerful and macabre - had hung around my neck like a weight for my entire life. I guess I wanted to get it out of the way. She didn't react to it, at all. It was as if she didn't know or care. 

"You're Gwen, right?" I continued.

"Yes, I suppose I am," she replied. "Hello, Cassandra."

"So... you like that song?" I asked, feeling totally lame.

"Hmm," Gwen answered. "I was learning to play it... before I came here. I hadn't quite gotten the middle down," she added humming a snatch of the tune. "Now, I don't have a violin to practice on."

"Oh, we have one in the music room," I said, smiling. "Come up, I'll show you. Maybe I can help you with the tune."

Of course, I immediately grabbed the violin and started playing. I told myself I was showing her how to play Banish Misfortune.

I was totally showing off.

I remember her smile as she watched me play. The false good cheer faded away, leaving a smile that was sad, and a little lonely, but also one that showed genuine pleasure in the music. My music.

I closed my eyes and played and played, trying to draw a little more hope into her sad smile.

I don't really know when Carmilla and Molly found us. I just remember suddenly hearing Carmilla's voice.

"If you want to hear real violin music, you should ask her to play Lament of the Nephilim, by Succubus," Carmilla insisted.

"I don't know that one," Gwen replied, sounding a little perplexed.

"Oh, Succubus is great. They're a local indie band," Molly explained as I played on. "Carmilla knows all the best indie bands and Cas can totally rock their music. Hi, I'm Molly and that's Carmilla and I guess you've met Cas and, of course, you're Gwen."

"Of course," Gwen said mildly.

I played until the bell rang for afternoon classes, alternating between traditional music and Carmilla's indie bands, while Carmilla and Molly chatted and a quietly bemused Gwen listened to us all.

Walking back to class, I found myself staring at Gwen. 

At the time, I didn't really know that I was attracted to girls. Carmilla was our little group's militant out lesbian. I was just... confused. I knew I was supposed to be attracted to boys, and I was in the kind of abstract way one is attracted to movie stars and guys in bands, but I hadn't dated anyone seriously, or even casually. I didn't really want to. 

Watching Gwen, with her long, almost silver-blonde hair and the way her willowy body swayed...

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"Mom, we get it," Miranda interrupted. "You don't really need to go to detail about the first time you checked out Gwen's butt. Right?" She added, looking at Mariah for support.

"No, no... go ahead," Mariah replied. "Feel free to go into as much detail as you like."

"Mariah!" Miranda gasped.

--------------

Author's Note: Banish Misfortune is a traditional Irish jig. Lament of the Nephilim is something I completely made up because it sounded cool.

The Raven's Apprentice - Chapter 4

"This all sounds very familiar," Miranda mused.

"There are patterns woven into our lives," Gwen said. "Perhaps the gods do take a hand in shaping events, or perhaps I unconsciously set you on a path that mirrored my own... because, like you, I survived the destruction of my family by the Dark Court and, like you, I fled into the night and found my way to a hermit who would guide the next steps of my path..."

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The Bramblewood, just outside Henford-On-Bagley, 2000

My hermit was named Lucius Tempest, an old friend of our family who lived - and lives still - in a cottage above Old New Henford. He is a recluse, living alone save for his cat, and generally avoids getting involved with either the affairs of the Council or the mortal world.

My mother had always told me that, if ever I needed a safe place to go, I should go to Lucius.

So, it was to Lucius that I fled.

He took me in and, for a time, gave me a place to rest and to heal.

As I said, I had never before known grief or loss, and sudden they seemed to be all I knew. Almost all. Even in the depths of my despair, I felt an unaccustomed weight dragging me inexorably forward. I felt the turning of the days. 

The rising and setting of the sun outside my window were no longer unchanging. The days were not always golden and the nights not always perfect, but the stars still glittered and the sun still shone.

Lucius comforted me. 

"I've lost everything," I told him.

"Oh, my poor, dear girl," he said. "I know your pain... but, Gwenivar, you aren't alone. You have lost so much, but not everything."

"They're gone," I wept.

"No," he replied gently. "Their memory lives in you, and so long as it does their spirits endure. Death is not the end. There are no Endings. My poor child, you have only ever known Spring and Summer... Autumn follows Summer and Winter comes behind it, but then Spring comes again and Summer returns."

It must seem strange to you that I had no experience of this truth that every mortal child knows. Almost as strange as it was for me to experience it. Yet, I did find some comfort in it.

I don't know how long I stayed with Lucius. I had not yet learned to measure the passing of days. (I think Cassie and Miranda will both tell you I still don't have the knack of it.) Still, despite Lucius's declaration that there are no Endings, my time with him had to end.

We left his cottage, by means of a magic different from the magic I was used to, and traveled to a place... a Place Between.

"Gwenivar, I have to tell you something," Lucius said. "Your grandmother foresaw the coming of the Dark Court and feared that she and Ari might not survive it. So, she made plans to keep you safe. She charged me with seeing those plans through. I am taking you to someone who will protect you."

"Taking me? I don't understand. Mother said I should go to you." I was confused and angry. "Why can't I stay with you?"

"Because I cannot protect you so well," he replied.

"You are the greatest weather witch in the world!" I insisted, because it was - and is - the truth. "Grandmother always said you could be the Sage of Wild Magic, if you only had the ambition to challenge for it."

"Yes, and your grandmother's opinions about my lack of ambition are one of the chief reasons I stopped coming 'round to dinner," Lucius smiled ruefully. 

"Why can't you protect me?" I demanded.

"Gwenivar," he sighed. "I am a simple man, who lives alone with my cat on top of a mountain. It is only a matter of time before someone notices I have suddenly taken to boarding a mysterious young woman. From that, it is only a matter of time before word reaches the Dark Court that Lucius Tempest has taken in what can only be the last surviving Guardian of Glimmerbook Watch.

"They seem content, for now, to ignore you, (more fool them)," he continued, "but in you and me together they will see a threat that must be answered. I am a powerful witch, but it is a long time since I have been a warrior. My cottage is no fortress to withstand attack or siege. 

"Right now, your safety depends on secrecy, not strength... and your safety is all that matters to me. So, I am taking you to a place where you will be safe, and at the same time, a place where you will learn many things that you have not been taught but that you greatly need to know."

So, Lucius led me into the hidden path within the Tree, through mists and along a secret stream until we emerged into a sunlight that was as far from the golden sunlight of my youth as I had ever been. 

There he spoke the words that would forever seal these great changes to my life...

"Welcome, Gwenivar Silveroak, to Willow Creek."

The first words I said at this momentous change were less than grand.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No," he said. "No, this is Willow Creek."

"I can't stay here," I said, appalled. "This is the mortal world! It's loud and ugly and it smells! You must have made a mistake. Misunderstood grandmother's plan..."

"Come along," Lucius replied. I recall he smiled a little, amused at my horror, which did nothing to improve my mood at the time.

He took me to one of the houses just beside the Tree we had emerged from and introduced me to the mortal man who lived there, the man who was to be my foster father, Doug Brown. 

"Hello Gwen," Doug said to me. "Ari... your mother... and I were very close once."

My mother, you see, made a habit of visiting the mortal world. Her little vacations, Grandmother called them. Every twenty or thirty years, she would attend University (she had a number of degrees). I fairly quickly gathered that during her last "little vacation," she had met and had a dalliance with this Doug Brown.

"She asked me to look after you, if anything happened to her," Doug continued. "I... I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. We can never replace your family, but I hope, given time, you'll find a home here."

So, I found myself in a new home, with new people, in a strange world so very unlike my own.

The Raven's Apprentice - Chapter 3

"Oh, my turn is it?" Gwen smiled. "Well, why don't I begin around the same place..."

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Glimmerbrook, Endless Summer

I grew up here, in Glimmerbook Watch. It was Spring when I was born, and all through my childhood, and became Summer when I grew into a young woman. Every day was warm and golden, every night was under glittering stars, a silver moon and the shimmering aurora that was the echo of the skies of another world.

I was raised by my mother and grandmother, and together we were the Guardians of Glimmerbrook Watch. Our magic protected the Magic Realm, maintaining the warding spells that prevented anyone from passing through the Gateway without our permission. 

My grandmother, Ceridwen, was counted a peer to the Sages themselves and, along the heads of the Old Families, was a member of the Council, the leaders of our people.

She was my mentor in the arts of magic. It was Ceridwen who first taught me the Words of Power and the magic of the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. She taught me the mysteries of Wind, Rain and Fire, the secrets of Plants, Birds and Beasts.

Under her guidance, I studied the ancient texts and the hidden histories of our people. I became quite adept at the arts of alchemy, brewing potions both subtle and powerful. Though I was still a young woman, as witches count our endless years, I was considered a magistra, a witch of great power and knowledge.

It was my mother, Arianrhiod, who taught me that there was more to the world than grandmother's magic. She told me the stories of the stars and constellations. She showed me the beauty and wonder of those stars, quite beyond the uses of their influences upon magic.

She also encouraged me to practice art and music. She said that there was a different kind of magic to be found in the creation of beauty, one simpler and more profound than the magic my grandmother taught.

Yes, it was an endless golden summer, but that is one of chief dangers of immortality. When every day is golden, and every night is beautiful, then each day blurs into the next. When there is nothing to mark the passing of years, they have no meaning. When one never needs to grow up, one never seeks to grow.

My life was full of joy... but what is joy, without sorrow? What is summer, without winter? These were questions I never thought to ask.

I had joy. That was enough.

I remember... I will always remember... the night my Autumn began. 

I went out, to gather night-blooming flowers by the brookside as I had on nights without counting. 

But that night, They came - the Dark Court. The vampire lords sought to once again make their war on the Magic Realm and to that, first they needed to overthrow the Guardians.

I know my grandmother stood against them, as she was sworn. I know my mother fought at her side. I don't know why or how they fell. I've never asked them.

All I know is that, just before she died, my mother sent Bluebell, her fairy companion, to warn me. It was the first time I knew real fear and real sorrow. 

I did the only thing I could. 

I ran. 

The Raven's Apprentice - Chapter 2

"Let me set the stage," Cassie said, "and take you back to the start of my last year of high school, just before Gwen and I first met..."

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Ophilia Villa, Willow Creek, 2000

I wouldn't say I thought my life was ordinary. As a moody teen, I was averse to "ordinary" on a basic level. Besides, as the daughter of a wealthy old family, ordinary wasn't really in the cards for me anyway. 

The Goth family has lived in Willow Creek for about as long as there has been a Willow Creek to live in. Ophilia Villa, our family house... I guess mansion is more accurate... is one of the oldest in the town. We're an old money family, and most of the money is in real estate. They say that the Landgraabs might have built most of Willow Creek, but the Goths owned the ground they built on.

My dad, Mortimer, was perfectly content to leave the management of the family real estate empire to the legion of lawyers and accountants who were equally content to run it for him. He focused on his writing. His books, mostly dark fantasy stories involving witches, ghosts and wicked kings, had been generally well received by both critics and readers. 

Still, I know he was shocked when he found himself suddenly catapulted into fame. A movie producer had gotten ahold of his first best-seller - The Raven Headmistress - and turned it into a blockbuster. Dad was even more surprised when the studio announced plans to film the other two books in the Raven Academy trilogy... especially since he hadn't written them yet.

So he was pretty focused on churning out two sequels and dealing with the movie people.

I wasn't getting along Bella, my mom... stepmom, as I insisted on pointing out to her at every opportunity... very well in those days. Looking back, I think it started as mostly the usual tension between a teenager and parent. That wasn't helped by the late hours and frequent travel required by her job, which we all thought involved sales for a company called TransWorld. I was convinced she was up to something nefarious. 

That fact that I was right... well, we'll get to that.

Then, of course, there was Alexander... my annoying, geeky, too-smart-for-own-good little brother.

It's funny really. For all that I insisted on calling Bella my stepmother, I never once thought of Alexander, her son, as anything other than my brother. He might have been an annoying geek, but he was my annoying geek and heaven help anyone - other than me - who gave him grief.

I think the only person in the house I got along easily with was Edwards, our butler. He was an orderly and hard-working man, from a local family that was probably as old as the Goths, just without our money. I remember, he made the most amazing shrimp gumbo. 

I think I got my love of cooking from him.

Of course, I was going to school which was remarkably ordinary as I'm sure... No, right, of course. I'm the only person at this table who had anything like an ordinary high school experience. 

Well, I can assure you, my high school was fairly ordinary... a large, ugly building decorated with "inspiration" posters and filled with burned out instructors and a horde of hormonal teens forced into colorless, soulless uniforms.

I dedicated a lot of time to my music. When I was feeling bad, which was fairly often in those days, I would go to the music room and play. 

Dad always encouraged me. He could see that I loved music, like he loved writing. I think he could see that I could be a musician someday, but he didn't pressure me. He wanted me to find joy in it. 

Now, one thing you must understand, to really understand this story, is that in those days I had no idea that I had been born a witch. There were family stories that some of our ancestors had been witches... and I honestly did believe them... but it never occurred to me that I might be one. I thought that magic was something lost to the world sometime in the past.

The closest I came to real magic were the seances my dad and I would conduct, reaching out and hoping to contact the spirit world. My dad was actually a very talented medium, and he always said I had a knack for contacting the spirits.

We didn't really talk about it, but I know we were both hoping for a message from my mom. My birth mother, Victoria, had died in a car accident when I was little. I know he thought about her still. She was, after all, the inspiration for the main character in his Raven Academy stories.

So, there you have it... young Cassandra Goth, budding musician and moody teen... completely unaware that someone was about to enter her life and change everything.