"Gwen?" Cassie began, gently laying her hand over her wife's.
"I'm fine," Gwen smiled. "You tell the next part... that first day."
Cassie continued to look at her, with a gentle, knowing smile of her own, before turning back to Mariah.
"Most of us," she said, her smile warming, "don't know ahead of time when we're about to meet the person who will change our lives. I certainly didn't."
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Buckingham High School, Willow Creek, 2000
I'd started my last year of school a few weeks before. That morning was, I thought, just like any other... get up, put on that truly horrible dull grey school uniform, have breakfast (I actually remember, Edwards made pancakes that morning) and head off to face another day of school.
There she was, fumbling with the locker next to mine, and I distinctly remember thinking: "Who's the new girl with Mr. Brown?"
Mr. Brown was a teacher, so it wasn't surprising to see him giving a tour to a new student. He was also a casual friend of my parents - they'd gone to university together - so I knew him a little better than most of the other teachers.
I think I said a brief hello to him and I know gave "the new girl" a quick nod, but I was distracted by wanting to catch up with my friends...
... friends and fellow outcasts - Carmilla LeFanu and Molly Prescott.
Sometime during our first year, after reading Caleb Vatore's High Fang novels, Carmilla had dyed her hair black and refused to answer to Cameron anymore. By now, even the teachers had given up. Everyone called her Carmilla. Of course, the popular kids thought she was a freak. I thought she was awesome.
Molly was Principal Prescott's daughter. That alone would have doomed her socially even if she hadn't been a little on the heavy side and a member of the chess club. Kids can be so cruel. We'd been friends since first year, when I stood up for her with Elly, the school's chief mean girl.
Anyway, Carmilla was once again explaining some obscure bit of vampire lore to a fascinated Molly. Vampires are cool when you're seventeen, safe and convinced you're edgy. Yes, of course we were idiots. We were teenagers.
"So," I said into a pause in the conversation, "who's the new girl?"
OK so, maybe the willowy blonde I'd seen next to my locker was on my mind.
"Oh, wow, that's Gwen," Molly replied. I could always count on Molly to know the latest gossip out of the principal's office. "She's from like Windenburg, or near there anyway. She's an orphan. Her whole family was killed in a home invasion or something."
"Grim," Carmilla said.
"Yeah," Molly agreed. "Anyway, Mr. Brown is like her guardian now. So, she's transferred here."
The bell for first period rang before I could get any more out of Molly but, when I got to my homeroom (Molly and Carmilla were in a different section), there she was. The new girl. Gwen.
If you'd asked me that morning, I wouldn't have been able to tell you why I was so fascinated by her. I certainly wasn't the kind of person who made a habit of cheerfully welcoming new students to our school. Being the Greeters-To-Hell was a job usually left to Elly and her cheerleader crew.
I just knew that I wanted to go over to her and introduce myself.
Of course, I didn't.
How could I? Class was starting.
The morning was instead spent listening to Ms. Coombes drone on about... I have no idea, but I'm sure it was something academic and completely boring. I'm also sure I paid even less attention that morning than I usually did.
I didn't spend the whole class thinking about her, of course. Honestly, I didn't!
I caught up to her during our lunch period and, when I did, I noticed two things right away.
One was that her smile, which I'd noticed back at the lockers, didn't touch her eyes. Her eyes, those beautiful, impossible violet eyes, looked sad and a little lost.
The other thing I noticed was that she was softly humming a tune. A familiar tune...
"Banish Misfortune," I said as I sat down next to her.
"What?" she asked, turning her polite smile and sad eyes to me.
"That song you're humming," I said. "It's called Banish Misfortune."
"I know," she said.
"I'm Cassandra, by the way," I said, and with an inward sigh added, "Cassandra Goth."
The Goth name and legacy - wealthy, powerful and macabre - had hung around my neck like a weight for my entire life. I guess I wanted to get it out of the way. She didn't react to it, at all. It was as if she didn't know or care.
"You're Gwen, right?" I continued.
"Yes, I suppose I am," she replied. "Hello, Cassandra."
"So... you like that song?" I asked, feeling totally lame.
"Hmm," Gwen answered. "I was learning to play it... before I came here. I hadn't quite gotten the middle down," she added humming a snatch of the tune. "Now, I don't have a violin to practice on."
"Oh, we have one in the music room," I said, smiling. "Come up, I'll show you. Maybe I can help you with the tune."
Of course, I immediately grabbed the violin and started playing. I told myself I was showing her how to play Banish Misfortune.
I was totally showing off.
I remember her smile as she watched me play. The false good cheer faded away, leaving a smile that was sad, and a little lonely, but also one that showed genuine pleasure in the music. My music.
I closed my eyes and played and played, trying to draw a little more hope into her sad smile.
I don't really know when Carmilla and Molly found us. I just remember suddenly hearing Carmilla's voice.
"If you want to hear real violin music, you should ask her to play Lament of the Nephilim, by Succubus," Carmilla insisted.
"I don't know that one," Gwen replied, sounding a little perplexed.
"Oh, Succubus is great. They're a local indie band," Molly explained as I played on. "Carmilla knows all the best indie bands and Cas can totally rock their music. Hi, I'm Molly and that's Carmilla and I guess you've met Cas and, of course, you're Gwen."
"Of course," Gwen said mildly.
I played until the bell rang for afternoon classes, alternating between traditional music and Carmilla's indie bands, while Carmilla and Molly chatted and a quietly bemused Gwen listened to us all.
Walking back to class, I found myself staring at Gwen.
At the time, I didn't really know that I was attracted to girls. Carmilla was our little group's militant out lesbian. I was just... confused. I knew I was supposed to be attracted to boys, and I was in the kind of abstract way one is attracted to movie stars and guys in bands, but I hadn't dated anyone seriously, or even casually. I didn't really want to.
Watching Gwen, with her long, almost silver-blonde hair and the way her willowy body swayed...
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"Mom, we get it," Miranda interrupted. "You don't really need to go to detail about the first time you checked out Gwen's butt. Right?" She added, looking at Mariah for support.
"No, no... go ahead," Mariah replied. "Feel free to go into as much detail as you like."
"Mariah!" Miranda gasped.
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Author's Note: Banish Misfortune is a traditional Irish jig. Lament of the Nephilim is something I completely made up because it sounded cool.
