"Edwards was right of course," Cassie said. "I had a lot of unresolved feelings about my mother. Being angry and suspicious about Bella's strange behavior must have seemed like a good way to hide from them. Until something happened that pushed those feelings forward."
------------------
Magnolia Blossom Park, Willow Creek, 2000
I remember, it was the week before Halloween. We were meeting in the park - Carmilla, Molly, Gwen and me. (Yes, I'd made sure Edwards knew where I was this time.) Carmilla wanted to talk to us about Halloween. Carmilla was big on Halloween which, looking back, had helped distract me from my emotional turmoil in years past. It wasn't helping that year.
Anyway, we were just sitting around and chatting, waiting for Gwen who hadn't been on the bus...
"Ugh, that Elly is terrible," Gwen groaned expansively as she practically collapsed onto the bench next to me.
"Oh God, what happened?" I asked. "Did she make you miss the bus?"
"Yes," Gwen sighed. "Well, kind of. She cornered me on my way out and got me so upset... I just lost track of time."
"To be fair," Molly put in, "lots of things make you lose track of time."
"Well, this time it was Elly," Gwen said.
"At my old school, I'd just challenge her to a duel," Gwen continued, "but Doug says I'm not allowed to do that. Just another one of this place's stupid rules... You can't have duels, Gwen, even with mean girls. You can't go outside with no clothes on, Gwen. You can't fly, Gwen. Why can't we fly!? I love to fly!"
"Um, physics," Molly suggested. "Can't argue with physics."
"I argue with physics all the time," Gwen said.
"Ok, are we just going to skip over the whole 'going outside naked' part," Carmilla said, "because, Gwen, I want you to know I would be totally fine with you doing that."
"Carmilla!" I gasped, shocked and more than a little jealous that she was leering at my... friend.
"I don't know," Gwen sighed deeply, clearly missing the point, "Lilian was pretty instant that I can't do that. She doesn't even like it when I walk around with no clothes inside the house."
"You can come over to my house," Carmilla smiled suggestively.
"Carmilla," I snarled warningly.
"I don't mean... well, OK, maybe I did, a little," Carmilla smiled at me, "but what I really mean is you should all come over. Like, for an overnight, this weekend. We can have a slumber party, like we used to."
"There's no way Bella would let me do that," I sighed. "Not with how she's been lately."
"Come on! Gramma D will be there, so you can totally tell Bella we'll have responsible, adult supervision," Carmilla said. "Except, of course, we won't because Gramma D is always asleep by sunset and my mom's in the City on some lame business trip. We'll practically have the whole house to ourselves."
"I've never been to a slumber party," Gwen mused.
"Oh, slumber parties are great," Molly said cheerfully. "Bring a sleeping bag or blankets and a pillow and..."
"Sleep, obviously," Gwen said. "It's in the name."
"Oh no," Molly shook her head. "That's the first rule of slumber parties. You never sleep."
"I'm confused again," Gwen said.
"We talk and eat pizza and listen to music," Molly smiled. "We could dance and..."
"It's a Halloween party, so we'll tell scary stories too," Carmilla added. "You've got to come."
"OK," Gwen laughed.
"I'll talk to my father," I sighed. "Maybe he can convince Bella."
"Remember to tell him about Gramma D and the responsible adult thing," Carmilla said. "Parents always fall for that."
We all laughed. For a moment, a friendly kind of silence fell across us. I remember, I looked at Gwen, and Molly looked at Carmilla, and it seemed like everything really was OK.
Then Carmilla's eyes went wide, looking at something behind me.
"Guys, a raven just landed on the table behind us," Carmilla said softly. "Don't startle it."
"A raven?' I said softly. I felt a chill, because Raven was my father's name for my mother.
"Ravens are so cool," Molly said.
"Ravens are wise and intelligent birds," Carmilla said in her 'occult lecture' voice. "They're deeply connected to the spirit world. They guide the spirits of the dead across... and sometimes they bring messages from the dead back to living," she added, looking significantly at Gwen.
"If my mother had a message for me, she'd send a fairy," Gwen said, surprisingly serious. "My grandmother would probably just come herself."
"Are you sure?" Carmilla said, a little put off by Gwen's response.
"Yes, but I'll ask," Gwen said.
To our surprise, Gwen did exactly that.
She stood up, calmly approached the raven and started talking softly to it. We couldn't hear what she said, but she was clearly speaking to it and, even more surprising, the raven seemed to croak back, as if it was answering her.
When she was finished, Gwen took her seat beside me again... and changed my life again.
"I was right. Roac's message wasn't for me. It was for you," she said, looking at me. "He said that your mother, Victoria, had told him it was time for you to look in her book."
I don't know how to explain what I felt in that moment. A rush of excitement. A breathless moment of shock.
Then agony, like Gwen had stabbed me through the heart with a blade of ice.
"How... how could you?!" I demanded, sudden tears burning my eyes. "How could you make fun of me like that!?"
"What?" Gwen said, shocked.
"You know how important she is to me," I accused. "You know I've been trying to reach her spirit for years. You think this is funny!? I hate you!"
"Cas... I don't... I would never," Gwen stammered.
"I never want to see you again!" I shouted, running off.
"But... that was the message," Gwen called after me.
