Lobo's Den - Haunted & The Lothario Incident

“We’re back with the Raven Witch herself, Cassie Goth,” Diego Lobo said. “Talking about twenty-five years of music.”

“Though really, we’ve only covered the first three so far,” Cassie put in. “So, we’d better get going.”

“So true, but…” Diego paused seriously. “Can we talk about Haunted?”

“I guess we have to,” Cassie said, a touch ruefully.

“Your third album, and definitely your most controversial,” Diego said. “I know fans are still very divided about Haunted. It was a real departure in tone from your first albums… critics have called it darker, more mature…”

“Let’s call it what it is,” Cassie said seriously. “It was much darker. It was more overtly sexual, and not always in positive ways… and I say that with the benefit of hindsight, and a lot of therapy… but I still think it’s very important.”

“I’ve said my music reflects my life,” Cassie continued. “Haunted reflects a time in my life that started in a very dark place. My last year of uni, I was in a very bad place emotionally. I drank too much. I had a series of flings with frat guys who were more than happy to tell their all buddies they’d ‘done it’ with the Raven Witch. I ended up losing almost all of my friends, except the ones who enabled me… and Gwen, who just would not be pushed out no matter how hard I tried… and I tried.”

“She stuck by you,” Diego said sympathetically.

“She did. She really did, for a long time,” Cassie said, misty eyed. “But she couldn’t save me. She said to me once, years later, that she knew couldn’t save me until I was ready to save myself, but she knew she had to be there for me, no matter how much it hurt her.

“Anyway, I managed to graduate, barely,” Cassie continued. “I moved to San My and worked on my music. When I wasn’t drinking myself half to death, that is. Then, I met a man who would change my life.”

“That would be Don Lothario,” Diego said. 

At the sound of Don Lothario’s name, the audience booed so loudly the host, and his guest, were forced into silence.

“Hey, hey, hey! Quiet down,” Cassie finally shouted, her singer’s voice cutting through the noise of the angry audience. “Don gets a bad rap, OK? He was a good guy.”

“Well, he did famously cheat on you, publicly and repeatedly,” Diego pointed out. “He used your fame to promote himself, and he, in fact, left you at the altar, while you were pregnant with his child.”

“Well, when you say it that way, it sounds bad,” Cassie admitted. “We can’t talk about Haunted, or my later music… my later life... if we don’t talk about Don. 

“I met him at a party, thrown by my producer for some of my more disreputable musical associates,” Cassie continued. “I remember, I was with my friend, Jess, and we were both working on getting drunk enough to go into a back room where these guys said someone had brought some ‘really good stuff’ that they said would ‘blow my mind.’

“So, just before I was about to go try seriously hard drugs for the first time… which probably would have killed me, if not that night, then soon… this guy comes up and steals my drink,” Cassie laughed. “Lifted it right out of my hand and drank it in front of me. Then he thanks me, looks me up and down and asks me if I want to dance.

“So, instead of OD’ing, I spent the night dancing with Don Lothario.” Cassie shook her head. “Of course, I think… what the hell, he looks pretty good. I’ll give him what he wants… what every man wanted. So, I suggest we go upstairs… and he said to me something that, at that time in my life, no man had ever… ever… said to me.”

“Will we have to bleep this out?” Diego laughed.

“He said ‘no,’” Cassie grinned. “He turned me down. Flat. Me! I was shocked. He said I was way too drunk and when… not if, mind you, when… we slept together, he wanted me to remember it. I admit it. That was it. I was hooked… but let me tell you, when we did… well, I remember it.

“So, I ended up with Don,” Cassie continued. “We started going out regularly, and eventually I moved in with him.”

“Ok, I have to ask, because people always ask, where was Gwen during this?” Diego put in.

“We separated,” Cassie said. “Gwen's… Well, when I told her I was moving in with Don, that I was leaving, she wasn’t upset. She didn’t argue. She said that she understood this was what I needed. Looking back, I realize that she knew… absolutely knew… that we would be together in the end. She was willing to wait for me to figure it out.  Anyway, she moved to the country. She still came into the City from time to time, and we’d see each other, but mostly she stepped away. It was as if she knew that Don would be there for me when she wasn’t, and in a way she couldn’t be… and she was right.

“The thing about Don,” Cassie sighed. “Yeah, he was shamelessly self-promoting. Yes, he thought monogamy was when you embroider your initials on your clothes… and, let’s face it, he wasn’t the brightest bulb. But he started me on the road out of that dark place I was in. He got me to drink less. He got me focused on my music and my career again. More importantly, he got me to start seeing myself as worthy again.

“With Don, I redefined my relationships with men, with sex and my own sexuality, and with my music,” Cassie said with sad smile. “I found my self-esteem, again, thanks to him. When he left me at the altar, yes, it broke my heart… but I think it needed to be broken to really heal. That’s what Haunted is really about… being haunted by the pain of the past and laying those ghosts to rest in order to heal.

“Also, let’s not forget, Don gave me the greatest gift of all… our beautiful daughter, Miranda.” Cassie’s smile brightened. “Who is getting married soon, if you can believe that.”

“Oh, don’t remind me of how quickly they grow up,” Diego groaned. “We’ll be right back, folks.”