College Years - Chapter 41 - Status Report

"Control," the distorted voice said.

"Knight," Mariah answered.

"Status report," Control requested coldly.

"Oh, I'm fine thanks," Mariah said glibly. "Classes are going really well and, hey, School Spirit day was off the hook!"

"Status report," Control repeated.

"Has anyone ever told you that you need to lighten up? Take some joy in life?" Mariah asked. 

Control was silent.

"Right, status report," Mariah chuckled. "I was right, Marco is not only taking bets on college footie, he's also fixing matches. I don't know details yet... I'm pretty sure it's tied up with the campus prostitution ring but they're still keeping me out of that."

"Mostly, he's got me running the 'store' right now," she continued. "We're running low on inventory, so he's told Carla to get more. I'll try to get details on that, so we can warn the trucking company."

"Negative," Control said tersely. "Stay on mission."

"Are you not listening to me?" Mariah snapped. "They're going to send Carla out to hijack a truck! I've told you what she's like. Someone could get hurt."

"Stay on mission."

"Madonna santa! If we're not going to try to stop any of this, what is the point?!" Mariah ranted. "Why am I doing this, risking this, if you're not going to do anything with the information I give you?"

"Ms. H is back," Mariah sighed before Control could respond to her rant.

"Are you secure?"

"I... She was... friendly... but I feel like she's keeping me at arms length," Mariah replied. "I don't know if she's still 'giving me space' or what. Merda, she can look straight into my heart but I don't know enough about her to get a good read on her."

"Can you maintain?"

"Yeah," Mariah took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm good. I'm solid."

"Confirmed, Knight. Stay on mission. Make contact by secondary number if you are not secure," Control disconnected the call.

------------------------------ 

"So now I need to take the truck hijacking," Mariah concluded filling Miranda in on her call with Control. "Marco won't argue. He knows I can do it clean."

"Are you going to tell Control?" Miranda asked, already knowing the answer.

"You know what they'd say - Stay On Mission," Mariah mimicked Control's distorted voice, "but I can't risk Carla messing up some poor trucker."

"You know," Mariah continued, "she's a classic case... an abuse victim becoming an abuser, violently lashing out in a misplaced attempted to assert control over her world."

Miranda gave her a Look.

"Madonna santa, don't say it," Mariah said. "I know. She's me or what I would have been if I'd stayed on that road... but I didn't. So I'm not the one who might put extra holes in some trucker in an expression of my own inner suffering."

"No, and you wouldn't have, either," Miranda said. "You would have done something risky and inherently self-destructive in an expression of your self-loathing."

"What, are you reading my textbooks now?" Mariah laughed.

"Well, it's not like I'm going to read mine," Miranda rolled her eyes. "I mean, seriously, I've had Vivaldi down since I was ten."

"You're amazing," Mariah smiled.

"It's just practice," Miranda sighed. "I've been playing violin since I was big enough to hold one. You're the amazing one."

"I'm not," Mariah started.

"You're going against Control, digging yourself in deeper with the Altos and generally putting yourself in harm's way to protect some random trucker," Miranda pointed out.

"That's just doing what needs to be done," Mariah insisted. "You think I shouldn't?"

"I think you're amazing," Miranda said.

"Just doing what needs to be done," Mariah repeated. "You'd do it... but, hey, don't get any ideas! I sleep at night because I know you're not part of this. You and Aadi and Genie... you're not any part of this Alto business."

------------------------------ 

"Hi there," the young man gave Genie his most charming smile. "I'm looking for Mariah. Name's Johnny. They call me Johnny Pretty."

College Years - Chapter 40 - Queen's Gambit

"You're going out," Miranda said softly.

"I have to," Mariah insisted. "For this to work, they have to believe I'm still in. It won't be like before. Uncle Nick... Dio... I've talked to him and told him I need to focus on school. He agreed and said he'd talk to Marco. They won't question it, but I have to go back sometimes or they'll start to."

"I know," Miranda sighed. "Please, be careful."

"I'm always careful," Mariah lied.

"I'll be waiting for you," Miranda said.

-------------------

"Hey 'Riah. I thought you'd have more of a tan," Carla G grinned. Karla didn't look much like an enforcer, but Mariah knew the other woman was violent as a wild dog and cold as a snake. "Winter break in Tartosa. Have you ever even seen snow?"

"Hey G," Mariah forced herself to grin back. "What's so great about snow anyway? I'm freezing mie tette off here as it is."

"Is that why they're so small?" Carla laughed.

"Puttana," Mariah cursed her cheerfully. "Where's Pretty?" Johnny Pretty was the crew's smooth talker, an accomplished con-man and thief, when he could stay sober.

"We're in front of a bar full of drunk co-eds," Carla sneered. "Where do you think Pretty-boy is? Hey, Marco wanted to talk to you."

"Figo. I'll catch you inside," Mariah nodded.

"Ciao, Marco," Mariah greeted the Alto underboss with forced cheer. "You have a good holiday?"

"No rest for the wicked, 'Riah," Marco grinned back. "Nick wanted me to check in with you. He heard about that thing with your moms... the crazy fan."

"Oh," Mariah was momentarily thrown. "Yeah, that was... scary... but Danielle's doing OK."

"That's good," Marco nodded. "I gather she's got a family friend looking out for her now."

Mariah's blood turned to ice. By long practice, she forced her voice to stay level, to stay in control. "Don't dance around, Marco. You got something you want to ask me, ask me!"

"OK," Marco nodded. "You talked with Liberty Lee-Rossi and she's Agency."

"You got people watching me, Marco?" Mariah demanded.

"Mr. Grey watches everyone," Marco replied, "on Nick's orders. So now I'm asking - what did you talk about with Lee-Rossi?"

"Vafancullo!" Mariah let her anger rise. "We had a fucking screaming match and I told the puttana to stay the fuck out of my business. You questioning my loyalty, Marco?"

"No," Marco replied with a grin. "I'm asking, 'cause Nick told me to ask. Now I can tell him what you said and he can tell Grey to shut the fuck up about it already."

"Good," Mariah said taking a steadying breath.

"Head on in," Marco said. "Ms. H is waiting for you. I guess she wants to welcome you back."

"Figo," Mariah said. Merda, she thought, now for the dangerous part.

-------------------

"Mariah," Ms. H purred. "It's so good to see you. I hope you had a nice holiday."

"Hey, H. It was interesting," Mariah said. With brutal will, she forced down the urge to throw herself, screaming, at the vampire and drive the leg of a convenient bar-stool through the monster's black heart.

"That's good," Ms. H smiled, a hint of her fangs visible, and leaned in to kiss Mariah's cheek. "Come, sit and tell me everything. It's been years since I've been to Tartosa."

"... so, Danielle's doing alright," Mariah said, concluding the story of the 'crazy fan' and Danielle's collapse. It has seemed to her the safest story to tell. "Londyn got her to agree to putting on some extra security and she was fussing over her when I left. All in all, little more excitement than I'd wanted for the holidays."

"Mariah, Mariah," Ms. H purred. "You're lying to me."

"What, no I'm..." Mariah blinked, genuinely startled. Where had she slipped up, she wondered. What had she given away?

"Don't lie to me," Ms. H snarled, her fangs openly visible. "I know what really happened and so do you. You know the truth."

Merda, Mariah's thoughts ran quickly. Can I fight her? Can I escape? Am I going to die here? Miranda, I'm so sorry.

"I see it in your heart... the anger, the fear," Ms H. continued. "It was no 'crazy fan.' This lady in white... she was vampira, like me. She is one of my rivals... she wants to turn you against me."

"I... no... you... what?" Mariah stammered.

"You knew, didn't you?" Ms. H continued. "You guessed my secret."

"I... I wasn't sure," Mariah replied, grasping at the chance fate was offering her. "I mean... Miranda's told me about... things... so I knew it was possible."

"I knew you would figure it out," Ms. H smiled. "Yes, I am Vampir. Unfortunately, I have enemies... the White Lady... she is a mean, petty creature. She hurt Danielle out of spite... to turn you against me."

"Well, that won't do it," Mariah replied, burying the thought that she had her own reasons to hate the monster across from her.

"You say that, but I see the anger in your heart," Ms. H replied. "I see the fear."

"OK, yes," Mariah admitted honestly. "I mean, it's scary for someone like me... vampires, witches... all of it, but if you see my heart, you see I'm working on handling it."

"Yes, you are," Ms. H smiled. "Oh, this is wonderful."

"I... I just need a little time," Mariah said. "To really get a handle on things. Can you give me that?"

"Of course, dear," Ms. H agreed. "I can be patient... after all, I have lots of time."

-------------------

Madonna santa, Mariah thought. I pulled it off.

Standing in the quiet spot not far from the pub, she could admit to herself that she hadn't been sure she was going to. Now, the crew's suspicions allayed for the moment, there was one more thing she had to do.

She dialed the number Liberty had made her memorize.

"Control," the distorted voice answered.

"Pawn to Queen Four," Mariah replied, amazed and a little embarrassed to be using a real spy pass phase.

"Report," Control said curtly.

"I'm in," Mariah said.

"Confirmed," Control's distorted voice betrayed nothing. "Queen's Gambit is a go."

 

College Years - Chapter 39 - What Have I Done?

"Oh Aadi, this is so horrible," Genie moaned. "What have I done?"

"Girlfriend, you just tell Aadi all about it," Aadi said soothingly.

"Carlos and I broke up," Genie said. "Just before Yule...

"Oh Aadi, he asked me to move in with him," she continued. "He was so... I don't know... excited about it. Like he had all these plans for us... but... Aadi, I couldn't! I'm not ready for that!

"Girlfriend, you gotta listen to your Heart," Aadi said.

"... and he got so angry. He said I'd broken his heart and I'd ruined everything."

"Oh, Red Flags are flying, Girl," Aadi shook their head. "Sounds to me like you made the right choice. You and Carlos had a good run and some good times... but this does not sound like this was going to a good place."

"Do you really think so?" Genie asked sadly.

"I do, girl, I do," Aadi nodded.

"Oh but Aadi, that's not the worst part," Genie whispered. "You can't tell anyone this, Aadi. Not even Miranda and Mariah... oh especially not Mariah."

"What is this, Girlfriend?" Aadi asked.

"Promise me, Aadi," Genie insisted. "Promise me you won't tell."

"I promise, I promise," Aadi said earnestly, hoping they wouldn't regret it. "Now spill!"

"OK, you've got to understand," Genie said, "I was sad about breaking up with Carlos... and it was the Yule party and I think I was a little drunk..."

"Girl, spill it," Aadi said.

"I hooked up," Genie groaned. "but he's married... and..."

"And?" Aadi prompted, already aghast.

"It was Mr. Alto!" Genie whispered.

"Mr... Alto?" Aadi blinked, stunned. "Nick Alto? Mariah's 'Uncle Nick' Alto?

"Yes," Genie moaned. "I mean... I'd had a couple of glasses of punch... and I was sad... and he was so charming..."

"Look," Aadi said calmly, "like you said, it was just a hook-up... a crazy, dumb, one-time thing. It was a is a one-time thing, right?"

"Yes, absolutely," Genie said desperately. "I mean... no... yes, a one-time thing. I would never..."

"Let's leave it there," Aadi said. "I mean, Girlfriend, if you really want to go all Girls-Gone-Wild, you be you... but maybe let's stay away from Mr. Alto, OK?"

"You promise you won't tell anyone?" Genie implored. "Especially Mariah?!"

"Promise, sweetie," Aadi said seriously. "Aadi can keep your secrets. Aadi just can't keep Aadi's secrets." 

Oh, crappity crap crap, Aadi thought to themselves. We'll just have to keep poor Genie away from gangsters ourselves. Mariah's got enough of her own stuff to deal with.

---------------

Madonna, what have I done? Mariah thought. This... this is a horrible idea. What have I done?

Well, there's no turning back now, she thought

"Hey, are you done hogging all the hot... wow," Miranda popped into the bathroom. "Oh, wow."

"What do you think?" Mariah asked.

"I like it," Miranda smiled.

"You do?" Mariah blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah, I do," Miranda said. "I really do."

"I decided it was time for a new look," Mariah said. "You know..."

"I know exactly what you mean," Miranda nodded, remembering when she'd first dyed her hair.  "It's a good look."

"Thanks," Mariah grinned. "I wasn't sure..."

"It's a good look," Miranda repeated. "Come one, let's show Genie and Aadi."

"I'll be right there," Mariah grinned.

OK, she thought. New look, new plan... I got this.

We've got this.

College Years - Chapter 38 - Who Am I Kidding?

What am I going to tell her when she asks me how Winter Break went, Mariah thought. 

It was a question that had been circling in her head the entire flight back from Tartosa. 

I found out my dad was an informant for the Agency. He was murdered by a vampire... the same vampire who, oh hey, I kind of didn't tell you, has been actively trying to seduce me for weeks. Now I'm coming back to school with plans to spy on the Altos, while training to be a vampire hunter and trying to avoid getting seduced and maybe eaten by the murdering puttana... Mariah sighed. Yeah, she's going to think...

Who am I kidding, Mariah grinned. She's Miranda Silveroak-Goth. Fighting gangsters and vampires is pretty much her idea of a normal break.

-----------------------

"... all while still passing Psych," Mariah concluded. "Oh, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone, especially you, about any of this. So. clearly I'm off to a great start."

"I'm glad Danielle is alright," Miranda said. It was, she thought, the safest response to Mariah's tale. Certainly it was the one topic on which her own feelings where clear.

"Yeah, she's... she's fine," Mariah replied carefully. "She was a little lightheaded for a couple of days but she recovered. Londyn doesn't really seem to remember what happened... just that some stranger was in their bedroom when Danielle collapsed. She thinks it was a crazy fan or something. It wouldn't be the first time, and it was enough for me and Liberty to convince them to be a little more serious with security."

"That's good," Miranda nodded, her tone guarded. "That's really good."

"Is that... I mean, is that all?" Mariah burst out. "That's all you've got to say?"

"What do you want me to say, Mariah?" Miranda said, suddenly heated. "Since I saw you last, you've gone from being a maybe-gangster to a maybe-spy and wanna-be vampire hunter!"

"What do you mean 'wanna-be'?" Mariah bridled.

"Listen tough-girl, do you understand how dangerous this is?" Miranda stormed over her. "This isn't 'Londyn pays your fine' kind of trouble or 'do a little time in juvie' kind of trouble. This is serious! Nick died, Mariah! He was my friend and he was nice and sweet and kinda dumb... and a freaking werewolf... and he died going up against vampires! And the Altos aren't just some street toughs either. They're just as dangerous as the damn vampires... maybe more."

 "Miranda..." Mariah started.

"I want to tell you not to do this," Miranda gasped. "I want to tell you to stop... but I know you. I know you. You won't... you can't."

"Mia amata, I..." Mariah breathed. She'd try, she thought. If Miranda asked her to, she'd try.

"Shhh," Miranda hushed her. "All roads lead to the same place, anyway. You need to see thing through. We both do. I can't tell you to be careful... because there's no careful way to do this." Spent, she leaned against Mariah. "Just... be smart. OK, be smart and be... you." 

"Yeah, I can do that," Mariah sighed. "Te ama... you know that right?

"Yeah, I do," Miranda smiled. "I love you too."

---------------

Later that night, as she hung braids of garlic next to the doors. Mariah though, I can be smart and I'll keep you safe. I'll keep all you guys safe.

 

College Years - Chapter 37 - Inescapable Moments

Winter break was almost over, Miranda thought. Back to school, soon enough. She was worried... about classes, about friends, about Mariah. Mostly Mariah. She was looking forward to seeing her friends again. To seeing Mariah. At the same time, she was going to miss Glimmerbrook. Miss the creaky old house, with its smell of herbs and old wood, its cold drafts and warm fireplace, mom's music and Gwen's strange ramblings, the whispers of the family ghosts and the meows of Gwen's cat, Cally.

With the discipline of long practice, she set each of those things aside... her worries, her longings, the voices of her mothers, the sounds of the old house, the weight of her own body. 

Like Gwen had taught her, she set everything aside and drifted, floating in dark, peaceful silence.

As happened more and more now, the quiet of meditation wasn't empty. She imagined she saw, spread out around her, glittering threads shifting and moving the silence. 

She dreamed of them sometimes... dreamed that Gwen spun those threads into being, that Gwen's mother measured each thread and her grandmother cut them, each to its own proper length. The three of them together would gather those glittering threads and weave them together into a pattern so complex and beautiful she wept to see it. Other times, Miranda had dreamed that she was the one who spun the threads, her own mother who measured them and Gwen who cut them. That they gathered and wove the threads.

Floating in silence, she looked at the threads closest to her, saw them come together into patterns.

Aadi sang and danced, laughing with a woman made of ice and secrets. 

Genie, dressed all in white, wandered through a garden of bones while ashes and blood fell all around her.

Mariah, surrounded by darkness and fear, walked resolutely into danger.

All the threads, the little patterns of her friends and countless others, rushed together toward a Moment.

At the last, before the Moment fully took shape, Miranda looked away.

------------------

"You talk about fate and choices," Miranda said later, sitting in the window-seat with Gwen. "How can you have both? How can we have choices but foresee inescapable fate?"

"Our choices shape our fate," Gwen replied. "Our fate shapes our choices."

"Perfect," Miranda sighed.

"The choices that we make are grounded in, and constrained by, our circumstances," Gwen continued. "Our circumstances are created by the choices that have come before... our choices and the choices of all the others who came before and all those who are now."

"Then how can I see something that hasn't happened yet," Miranda asked, "and know that it will happen? Couldn't someone make a choice that prevents it? Can't it be changed?"

Gwen considered carefully before answering. "Sometimes, all roads lead to the same place. All choices come together into a single, inescapable, Moment. Sometimes, we can see such Moments."

"What good is that?!" Miranda demanded. "If we can't change it, can't prevent it, what good does it do us to know about it? Is it just a curse?"

"A Moment cannot be changed," Gwen said, "but the choices made to reach a Moment influence what choices we can make after."

"The night Vlad attacked us, years ago, that was a Moment you foresaw," Miranda said.

"Yes," Gwen agreed.

"You didn't warn us," Miranda said.

"Most people will try to prevent a Moment they don't like," Gwen said, "but a Moment cannot be prevented and trying will only further limit your choices."

"It just makes things worse," Miranda said.

"Most often," Gwen agreed, "A Moment cannot be changed, but it can be prepared for."

"So you prepared for it," Miranda nodded.

Gwen nodded.

So, I'll be prepared, Miranda thought.